Creative Nuisance

Musings From My Soul

A story about my friend…

with one comment

This time around I would not give a lecture on what is right or what is wrong, nor bore you with intellectual thoughts. I am going to tell you a true story – that of a close friend of mine (let’s call him ABC, though it hardly matters).

Well, let me start of by saying that he is one of my closest friends of mine and hence you can expect me to know much about him (if not all). He comes from a very humble background, and has been struggling very much right from his childhood. In this world of luxuries, he lived modestly, never asking for more than what he got, never even dreaming about more than his studies and immediate surroundings, never expecting toys or story books, and never going out with friends for fear of spending too much. One thing that he did was sit down with his books, look outside the window occasionally to have a glimpse of the outside world and then back into his world of studies. My friends – do not misunderstand me – he was not ‘padhakoo’ as you may be thinking, it’s just that his only way to escape from this constrained environment was through his books. He found science very interesting and mathematics too. He did not like literature or social sciences. And yes, I forgot to tell you he liked shopping – window shopping to be exact. Whenever he had time he would go out all alone through different lanes of Kolkata, walk down the busy streets of the city and look at the different items displayed, all glittering and flashy; visit exhibitions around the city or watch people.

He managed to get good grades in school, and then moved to a good college in his town with good grades. His friends mocked him for the marks, saying that he never looked up from his books. How ignorant were they – one who did not have a radio or television had obviously nothing else to do than spend time in books! He had some good friends and a special one (let’s call her XYZ). I will talk about XYZ a little later.
There were two sides of my friend – one where he presented a jovial front, a lively and enthusiastic young boy, and the other, the real ‘him’ which tried to live up to every ones expectation, subduing his own. Every time he would have to decide, he would look into how it would affect those around him and if everything was OK, he would then consider how much that would affect him. He pushed his wants and desire below layers of hard-hearted decisions, and killed most of his soft side never allowing them to clutter his mind. Initially he cried, later they dried up. He never raised his voice to protest, never spoke too much, never allowed himself to be carried away.

Oh! As I promised earlier, here’s about XYZ. I know XYZ quite well, but I would not like to spoil this story writing about my views, but would try to take a look at XYZ from my friend’s perspective. The first day he saw her, he was moved. He could hardly take her off from his mind. Yet, years of hardship forced him to come back to reality. At this point, I would like to state one more fact: my friend feared failing. Each step he took, he measured them carefully weighing the pros against the cons – for he never had the support, economically or emotionally, to fall back in case of failures. This was the first time his dreams raised their voices arguing against all realities. He was in a dilemma. Was it worth falling in love? Or, was it a practical step to take? Is he strong enough to bear all that comes along? He came to me for help, but I being no expert in this matter could not help. What did I have to offer, I was as immature as he was, but I told him one thing – “Never have you let your dreams free, what if you tried this one time? What if you succeed? After all she is someone who has been able to make you dream.” Taking my advice and after some introspection, he jumped in. And it clicked. I could make out from him – he was really contented.

I lost contact with him after this incident. I met him a couple of days ago after some four years. His special friend is still there, very much supporting him through his life. He also cares for her very much. He was pretty much the same except that he now knows how to dream and knows how to smile. But there’s one thing he could not change – think too much about an event, its consequences and how it would affect those around him. And in this endeavour, he would become too hard on his own self. He still has not been able to fully overcome his past. He shouts if someone spends too much, reprimands if someone splurges too much. He tries to do well to all, sometimes intruding into their personal space and that’s when his friends feel irritated with him. In his limited capacity, he tries to make everyone happy, but he is misunderstood. And he is now full of mixed emotions – on one hand, he now knows how to smile, on the other, he is pulled back by his past.

I tried to tell him that this is a passing phase and life itself will provide him a path to overcome all difficulties. He should not stop thinking about others just because of some consequences, but he is still uncertain of what he should do. He reads this blog regularly and probably won’t be happy to find his story on the net. But, I urge you all to cheer him up with some comments if you like. That way, we can help him come out of his past and show him how to LIVE life.

N.B.: XYZ is also trying hard to be happy with him, but I know that both love each other very much and that pure love will help them to sail through all these and STOP making things worse for them.

[I wish ABC and XYZ all the best for their future.]

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Written by Abhishek

October 17, 2009 at 10:55 AM

Posted in Social

Tagged with , , , , , ,

One Response

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  1. Hi!
    I am a friend of XYZ. Since, she did not want to comment here, I am doing in lieu of her.
    She wanted to tell that she is NOT “trying hard to be happy with him”. She IS.

    Thank you for your modest attempt to help these foolish people.
    I also wish ABC and XYZ all the best for their future.

    Debaleena

    October 20, 2009 at 5:38 AM


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